


There's Nothing Sexy About Murder

by FunnyWings



Series: Psych/Supernatural Crossover Series [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Murder, Case Fic, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Psychic!dean, Soap Operas - Freeform, cop!Charlie, cop!cas, except not really, psych au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7432664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunnyWings/pseuds/FunnyWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is working with the SBPD as a psychic detective with his brother Sam. The latest case takes place on the set of one of the hottest shows in Santa Barbara... Dr. Sexy M.D. When one of the actors is almost killed, it's up to Dean, Sam, and Officers Novak and Bradbury to figure out who the perpetrator is before he or she strikes again.</p><p>And in other news, John Winchester might just be into soap operas. Who'd've thunk?</p><p>Part of the Psych/Supernatural Crossover Series. I think it's still funny on it's own but probably makes more sense in context.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's Nothing Sexy About Murder

**Author's Note:**

> So for anyone that's following this, sorry I haven't updated in forever. I actually tried to write this ages ago, but what I wrote sucked, so I had to erase it all and just forget about it for a while so I could come up with something better. Here is something better!
> 
> Edit: I changed the title. Hopefully no one is confused.

Perhaps the fact that Mary wasn’t going to be home for the premiere of her favorite soap opera should have had some effect on John Winchester’s willingness to watch it. And maybe, if he’d bothered to think about it more or thought it in any way would get back to anyone on the force, that would have mattered. However, with Mary held up a few extra days on a job in France- one of the last ones she took before finally agreeing to work solely at the desk- John had the solid excuse of needing to watch it so he could tell his wife what had happened. He was being a good husband. It didn’t need to go any deeper than that.

This particular night, of course, is when Dean would be deciding to test his limits on whether or not bed time rules applied to him. Despite the fact Sam had hit his terrible twos with a vengeance, the one thing he could be counted on to do was sleep through the night like- well like a baby. Dean on the other hand was as rambunctious a kid as they came, and although he usually stayed in his room after his official bed time, John was certainly aware that Dean spent a good deal of time playing with his toys when he should have been sleeping. Unfortunately, he was also really good at putting them away and pretending to be asleep whenever John went in to tell him to knock it off.

Today however, as John leaned back in the comfy arm chair in front of the television that only he ever sat in, he could hear Dean making his admittedly sneaky way up behind him to see what his dad was watching. John held in a sigh when Dean climbed over the back of his chair and started crawling over him so he could see what was on the television.

“What’s that?” Dean asked, pointing to the show. “I don’t think I’ve seen this show before.”

John flinched when he noticed to of the characters were kissing on screen. Well, what Mary didn’t know Dean had accidentally seen wouldn’t hurt her.

“That’s because it’s your bed time, kiddo,” John pointed out, lifting Dean up so he could carry him back to bed. Dean was still staring at the screen, a puzzled expression on his face at whatever had just been said on screen.

“Why are the kissing people trying to kill each other with swords now?”

John looked back and really wished he had caught the transition because he found it just as confusing as Dean apparently had. Oh well, this particular show was known for weird dream sequences every once in a while, that’s probably what that was.

“I don’t know. It’s an adult show though, one your mom likes, so you can’t watch it until your older. Understand?”

Dean nodded and yawned, and John gratefully thought that he might actually go to bed this time. His son did curl up under the covers when John put him down inside his room, and his breathing slowed down, but John could tell he was just faking until he left again. He could hear a cheerful jingle coming from the television that indicated it was on commercial break and decided to stick around for a few minutes and make sure Dean went to sleep.

“Hey kiddo, what song does your mom like to sing you?”

John already knew for regular bed times, Mary liked to sing “You Are My Sunshine”, but it was still nice to see the surprised and happy look on Dean’s face that John was going to sing to him. It happened rarely, mostly because John hated the sound of his singing voice, but the man still had an idea that Dean had a rougher time of going to sleep when Mary wasn’t there than when she was, and seemed like the thing to do.

Dean fell asleep after a couple of minutes, and John went back to the television in time to watch the main character be apparently murdered. The next twenty minutes were spent on his love interest trying to get the bleeding man to a hospital, and the episode ended on a cliffhanger car crash. John did not throw the remote against the wall at that, but it was a close thing.

********************

It was Charlie’s turn to pick up coffee, since she and Cas had been passing it off to Alfie for ages, so she was a little earlier getting in than usual. This meant she had the benefit of seeing Cas walking up to the station, slightly darker circles under his eyes than usual indicating he hadn’t gotten much sleep the previous night. Charlie debated not bringing it up, but then remembered the last time her partner had totally schooled her and Jo at poker and was feeling less charitable.

“Burning the midnight oil?” she asked. Cas glowered and pushed past her. “I thought getting laid was supposed to make people more relaxed,” she called after him, ignoring the middle finger that flashed over his shoulder as she picked up her pace to walk in with him.

“Leave it alone.”

“That bad? Dean makes it out like he’s a sex god.”

“I’m not discussing this.”

“It really was that bad then?”

“Charlie,” Cas growled, trying to hush her before they walked into the station. He looked around to make sure no one was listening before lowering his voice, eyes flashing maliciously. “If you really want to know, I could tell you all about it. I’ve finally found a use for the man’s tongue-“

Charlie paled. She was quick to cut him off.

“No thank you,” she interrupted. “There are entirely too many dicks in that situation for me.”

“Excellent. Now we are both in agreement not to have further discussions about my sex life.”

Charlie caught sight of Jody waiting impatiently for the both of them just inside the door and crossed a finger over her throat to stop Cas from talking, which he promptly complied with. Chief Mills did not look at all happy. In fact, she looked down right pissed, and Charlie was now worried that she’d somehow managed to screw up the paperwork for something. Or that Chief Mills had found out about the hacking.

“Novak, Bradbury, if you’re done gossiping, you do both have jobs here. For now.”

The two officers tried to slip through after this reprimand, Charlie making it in quickly and passing off coffee to Alfie who greeted her with a friendly smile. She might have gotten him regular coffee even though he had been chugging decaf the past couple of months in solidarity with Hannah during her pregnancy. To be fair, he’d been looking a little frayed around the edges recently, though he never lost his steady determination and warmth.

Castiel was not as lucky as Charlie, and was stopped from walking directly into the station by a hand to his shoulder by Chief Mills.

“You’re coming with me, Novak.”

Chief Mills wanting to talk to him was almost never good. She had taken a dislike to him when she first started, and Cas had disliked her at first as well. Although she seemed competent enough, Cas had never gotten over her willingness to bend or adjust certain rules as she saw fit. He preferred a certain amount of rigidity in conduct that she simply failed to supply. He had a feeling that she had taken his dislike of her style of running things as a slight on her because of her gender, though Castiel honestly knew he would have reacted the same way to a man in charge. The Chief had eventually seemed to recognize that, though it had still been a tense first few months when she’d been put in charge.

Recently, Cas thought that their opinions had been changing, slowly but surely. Cas’ own major transgression, the one that still kept him up at night, had forced open his mind to see how easily one could live in shades of grey between the ideal and what was truly right. And yet, Castiel had to believe in the ideal, because if he didn’t believe in that, what was left to him?

In any case, he wasn’t entirely sure why Chief Mills had called him for a meeting. There were any multitude of reasons. Perhaps she had also found out about his relationship, or whatever equivalent one wanted to label it, between him and Dean. Or maybe she just wanted to tell him that he needed to stop ignoring her directives. Perhaps she would simply tell him off for being unpleasant to other officers. Whichever it was, Castiel was already well on his way to irate after being singled out and called into the Chief’s office.

“Naomi called me,” the Chief began. Castiel knew what was coming now. “You’ve rescheduled on her four times.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“On four separate dates?”

“Would you have liked me to ignore important leads in my cases for the sake of something that was less necessary-“

“Novak, it’s your job to protect and uphold the law. I can’t trust you to do that if I don’t know you’re mentally sound.”

“I assure you I’m fine. I’m not the only officer that’s had a near death experience.”

Chief Mills let out an angry sigh before standing up and leaning over her desk.

“Novak, if you’re perfectly fine, why won’t you make the twenty minute drive to see Naomi?”

“She’s not very good at her job and I feel uncomfortable around her. Is that enough of a reason?”

The Chief put two fingers to the space between her eyebrows and rubbed gently, trying to dispel the headache speaking with Castiel was giving her.

“No. And you should watch about what you say about the people you work with. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they’re bad at their job,” Chief Mills paused for a moment to let that sink in. “I’m taking you off for the day. I expect you to go to Naomi’s and last the entire hour. I expect you to cooperate. If you don’t, don’t think for one second that I won’t bench your ass. Do you follow me?”

“Perfectly,” Castiel said, biting the word off with a clipped show of anger. “You want me to go now?”

“Yes.”

“Won’t I need an appointment?”

“Today is usually her day off. She came in especially so she could see you. Keep that in mind before you insult her.”

Castiel stared down at the Chief’s silver name tag instead of at her, fists clenching and the vein in his jaw jumping. Still, he may not always play nicely, but when it came down to it, he followed authority unless given an important reason no to. His own pride was not a reason to push further against the Chief.

“I’ll leave then.”

“Great. Have Charlie come in on your way out.”

Castiel called Charlie over from where she was having an animated conversation with the SBPD’s newest officer, Donna Hanscum. He could tell Charlie already liked her and suspected the two would become fast friends. Then again, Charlie had always been better at making friends than he was.

“The Chief wants to see you,” he said flatly to Charlie, passing over his untouched coffee to Officer Hanscum. “I can’t drink this on the road. Someone might as well. It’s black, nothing added.”

“Aw, that’s sweet of you. Thanks darling.”

“It’s not sweet. It would go cold and I’d throw it away.”

Donna raised an eyebrow at Charlie, who shrugged and mouthed something along the lines of ‘he’s always like that’, before she made her way off to Chief Mills’ office. Cas considered actually leaving immediately, but decided procrastinating his departure was the preferable course of action.

“So,” he began awkwardly. He really did not like meeting new people this way. When he was introduced to people, there was always a certain amount of etiquette he could draw on until he was comfortable enough with the other person to know how to handle the conversation. When introducing himself, the rules were not as clear cut. Especially since he knew for a fact both he and Donna already knew each other’s names. “What brings you to Santa Barbara?”

The smile on Donna’s face faltered for a moment and she looked toward the ground like she was thinking about lying. The she looked up and met him right in the eye, her face looking slightly stretched to fit her happy persona.

“My ex-husband worked as an officer in my last department. Wasn’t exactly all hunky dory after we split. He was a real asshole, if you’ll pardon my cussing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh don’t be,” Donna said, seeming to regain some of her cheer. “Gave me a whole new lease on life. That old fool doesn’t know what he missed out on. You know I’ve lost ten pounds since we signed the papers?”

Castiel wasn’t entirely certain what that had to do with anything, but smiled politely. It occurred to him that perhaps the officer’s weight had been something her ex-husband had often brought up as an issue in their relationship. It seemed odd to him that Donna would have reacted to that particular barb after the relationship was over. In Cas’ failed marriage with Meg, the only complaint about him she had ever meant was that he was constantly working and unwilling to compromise. He had in no way attempted to change this about himself since the end of their relationship. Despite the fact that he still very much loved Meg, he could at this point recognize the fact that she had in their many fights often used aspects of his personality against him in order to manipulate him emotionally, but in all fairness he had at times done the same thing to her. In a weird way it had made them closer before everything fell apart. Before Meg had walked out and left Cas to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do with himself.

“Divorce is still unpleasant,” was all he said out loud. “I’m sorry, I have to leave now.”

“Well, bye Officer Novak. Here, take a hard candy for the road,” Donna said, passing him what looked like a mint. Castiel looked down at it hesitantly before taking it from Donna’s hand and pocketing it. He had no intention of actually eating it, but knew that it would be rude not to accept.

While Castiel and Donna had been speaking, Charlie had made her way into Jody’s office and plopped herself down in the chair directly across from Jody’s. The Chief gave her a somewhat indulgent smile before snapping back into her usual “don’t fuck with me” persona.

“Okay, Bradbury, I gave Novak the day off, but we have a real shit storm of a case brewing, and I want you and Winchester to look into it.”

“That sounds fine.”

“Good. Officer Nickerson will be working with you for today. Novak will be back on the case with you tomorrow.”

Charlie swallowed, and wondered how exactly she should phrase what she was about to say next. She knew no matter what that Jody would be upset but Charlie bet Jody would be less upset if she told her honestly than if she found out after the fact.

“Could I have another partner? Nickelson and I had a falling out.”

Jody frowned a little to hear that and waited for an explanation. Charlie stared at the ground.

“Look, Charlie, I can’t have you with Alfie right now, I need him to show Donna the ropes.”

“I could do that,” Charlie pointed out, looking up hopefully. Jody leaned forward a little as though she were trying to determine exactly why Charlie was acting the way she was.

“You’re our second newest officer. That’s not going to work,” Charlie slumped again, and Jody decided that that was it. “What’s going on Bradbury?”

Charlie bit her lip and then spoke her explanation all in a rush.

“Jenna is really pretty, okay? I asked her on a date, and I thought it went really well. I had a great time, and I figured she’d call me. She didn’t and when I asked her why, just because I had no idea what I’d done, she told me that she was already dating someone else, not exclusively, and wanted to get more serious with them. I don’t know why she would agree to go with me on a fucking date in the first place if she didn’t even-“

“Bradbury,” Jody interrupted. “Did you seriously just ask me to change an assignment based on a petty personal problem?”

“Maybe?”

“Get out of my office.”

“Yeah, okay Chief, I’ll go work with Jenna then,” Charlie said scurrying out of Jody’s office. Although she adored Jody, she realized that she was also just a little bit scared of her. Then again everybody was. Except for maybe Cas. And possibly Dean.

Charlie started looking through the file that Jody had given her and then for a moment forgot her trepidation. Because apparently there had been a shooting on the set of Dr. Sexy. Which was sad, but that was the hottest soap on in Santa Barbara and maybe Charlie was a little bit addicted to it. She had her phone out to call Dean in about five seconds flat.

“Hey, Charles, got a case for us?” Dean asked, probably sat in his office just itching for a reason to drag Sam away from work. How the younger Winchester hadn’t been fired yet, Charlie had no idea.

“Yeah, and you’re never going to believe where it is.”

***********************

Castiel slowly made his way into Naomi’s waiting room, sparing a polite nod to her receptionist before sitting down in one of the too hard chairs and glancing briefly at the magazines that had been laid out. None of them held much interest to him, and he doubted they did to most officers. Then again, there was one on crocheting he considered stealing for his father for a moment, who had taken to a variety of hobbies that his wife endlessly teased him for. Then again, if he were to take it and Naomi noticed, she’d probably write in his file that he was untrustworthy and showed signs of kleptomania.

Cas wasn’t entirely sure why he disliked the woman so much. Perhaps it was something in her demeanor. Perhaps it was the all white room she liked to operate in which reminded him too much of an interrogation room to ever feel like he was having a genuine conversation. Maybe it was the fact that two officers with ties to criminals had managed to operate undiscovered within the station, one of which must have shown signs of mental distress. There was no chance that Zeke had never shown no outward signs of his inner turmoil about trying to protect his family prior to his betrayal of the SBPD. Then again, that might just be a result of Naomi not being particularly good at her job.

“Mr. Novak,” the receptionist asked, pointing out a pencil towards him. Castiel nodded in confirmation. “You can go ahead and head in, honey.”

“Thank you, Hester,” Cas said, glancing at her name tag. She spared him a strained smile and Castiel was reminded that this was likely her day off too. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“It is what it is.”

Castiel walked through the door and Naomi looked up from her notes in his file, offering up a tight smile that Cas didn’t trust for a second.

“Ms. Prellis.”

“I have asked you to call me Naomi, Castiel,” Naomi pointed out, slightly impatient. “Please sit down so we can get started.”

Castiel sat. And waited. And waited.

“Before we begin,” Naomi said at last. “Is there anything in particular you think should be discussed today?”

“No.”

Naomi started writing something. Cas wondered what that could possibly be with such a short answer and suspected it was that he was uncooperative.

“Let’s get started then. Please describe to me the events of that day. If you have any trouble, feel free to take your time.”

Castiel easily made it through being knocked out by Zeke. After that, he knew he didn’t want Naomi to know all that had occurred while he was in Azazel’s captivity.

“I was, I was tied to a chair,” Castiel said, cursing himself for stumbling over his words. He could see the pause in Naomi’s writing, and the slight change in her expression that alerted her to the change. “It had a mechanism set up so that if he were to cut a certain rope I would fall into the swimming pool. And drown,” Castiel added unnecessarily at the end. Naomi considered him for a second, and Cas felt a jolt of irrational hatred for the calm and collected way she looked at him. She didn’t even appear to have a single hair astray.

“And do you have any idea why he chose to do that to you?” she asked. Cas startled.

“Is that relevant?”

“It could be. I’m curious as to if he was particularly targeting something you fear and if so if that could have consequences for you in your line of work.”

“I’m perfectly able to do my job.”

“That doesn’t answer the question, Castiel.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Naomi’s jaw clenched for a moment before her face smoothed back into it’s unnatural serenity.

“Let’s move on then. Tell me about your partner and your relationship with her.”

*******************

Sam sighed heavily when he saw Dean sitting in his desk because he knew exactly what it meant.

“No.”

“You always say that Sam. How do you expect us to get paid if you every time we have a case you waste twenty minutes trying to convince me you can’t miss work that day. Your job sucks. You can always miss work.”

“No, I can’t. Dean, someday they’re going to notice I’m not working as many hours.”

“They won’t. You’re still outselling everybody at your level. I know I had Charlie check.”

“How did she- you know what? I don’t want to know. But honestly, can’t this case wait a few hours. I have some things I need to get done today.”

“Nope. Because you’ll never believe where exactly the case is.”

“Where?”

Dean paused for effect, eyes glazing over slightly as he stared into the distance.

“The set of Dr. Sexy M.D.”

Sam started laughing. When Dean glared at him he just started laughing harder.

“I can’t believe you still watch that show.”

“Oh, c’mon. Like you don’t watch it.”

“I don’t. I actually have standards, and don’t just watch shows for the eye candy.”

“The plot’s compelling.”

“You’re full of bullshit.”

Dean glowered some more before crossing his arms and angrily waiting by the door. Sam considered refusing to go, but he knew that at some point Dean would wear him down enough that he’d agree just so that his brother would stop bugging him. He told Dean to wait a moment and then sent out a couple of quick emails relegating the work he needed to do for the day and one to his boss saying that he was sick. He felt a little bit guilty about it, but he figured even if the only reason Dean was so quick to take the case was because of his obsession with the show, they still only ever really got called in for murders. If he could prevent someone from murdering again, morally he was in the clear as far as he was concerned.

“Okay, let’s go.”

*******************

“It seems you and Charlie Bradbury have a good dynamic,” Naomi said, and Castiel wondered if that was the only positive thing she had ever said in relation to him as long as they had been in his appointment. “She has also reported to me that she trusts and respects you, and neither of you have filed any complaints against the other.”

Cas nodded stiffly and waited for Naomi to somehow twist what she’d just said against him. She had a habit of twisting words and trying to use them to make him seem worse. He had no idea why she seemed to have a grudge against him, but he had to keep playing her game until he could figure it out.

“I understand your relationship with your last partner did not end as smoothly.”

“Anna and I never had any work problems. She was an efficient and capable officer, and we communicated well and respected each other,” said Cas evenly.

“And yet she asked for a transfer. I don’t like to put a lot of weight on gossip, but I have heard the reason was because the two of you were discovered to be in a sexual relationship.”

“I agree it’s not wise to put a lot of weight on gossip.”

“Is it or is it not true that you were accused of sleeping with Anna Milton by a psychic, and that she subsequently transferred departments?”

“Both of those individual events are true,” Castiel said, being sure to stress the fact that there wasn’t necessarily a correlation between them. He did not want Naomi to know anything about his personal life and didn’t think it was at all relevant to his ability to continue working after a traumatic experience.

“But you deny that you and Officer Milton were involved in any way.”

“No, I simply refuse to comment on the matter.”

Naomi was definitely writing something about that. She looked up again, considering him.

“Tell me about your working relationship with Dean Winchester then. I understand you’ve made several complaints against him, both official and unofficial. You have made multiple claims that he is not psychic and should not be associated with the SBPD.”

“What more do you want to know?”

“The complaints have stopped since the incident with Azazel.”

“Well he did save my life. Perhaps I thought it would be a little ungrateful to continue to try to get him fired.”

“But you still don’t think he’s psychic?”

“Do you think he is?” Castiel asked, genuine curiosity coming through his defensiveness. Naomi Prellis didn’t seem the type to believe in any kind of supernatural occurrences.

“He does seem rather adept at solving cases no one else seems to,” Naomi equivocated.

“I agree. That doesn’t make him psychic.”

“Fair enough. Has the animosity decreased then? Multiple sources have noted that the two of you have frequent arguments when working with each other.”

“I can deal with Winchester just fine, thanks.”

“Alright, we’ll move on then,” Naomi said looking back down at her paper. Castiel sighed and resigned himself to sitting through the remaining half hour of his required time to be there.

******************

On the set of Dr. Sexy M.D., they were still shooting. Sam personally found that odd, but Dean pointed out to him that with the finale that Friday, and the show already running behind it wasn’t that much of a surprise. Of course, it was going to be complicated shooting the last episode considering one of the major characters, played by David Carson, had been shot during filming. The gun, which should have been an unloaded prop had hit him in the stomach and he was still recovering in the hospital. Dean was incensed.

“You don’t understand,” Dean had tried to explain when Sam had asked why Dean was so pissed he wasn’t going to be in the episode. “Dr. Norwick and Dr. Sexy are in the middle of a season long love triangle with Dr. Allen. This episode was supposed to address that. Now they have to put it off until next season.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re so invested in this.”

“If you watched the show, you’d understand.”

“Dean’s right,” Charlie interrupted, from where she’d snuck up behind them. “It really is a good show. Medically inaccurate but good.”

“Hey, Charlie, where’s Cassie? Too good to investigate a soap opera case?” Dean asked, rolling his eyes pointedly at Sam who ignored the jab.

“No, he got sent off to Naomi’s. So I’m stuck with Jenna all day.”

“I thought you liked Jenna?”

“I did. Before she blew me off.”

Dean looked over Charlie’s shoulder to see Officer Nickerson interviewing some of the actors who had witnessed the incident.

“She getting anything good?” Dean asked. Charlie shook her head.

“No. Everybody said pretty much the same thing. Andy Gallagher, who was the guest star for the last episode, was just acting out his part. He didn’t even realize anything was wrong until he saw that Carson wasn’t getting up. I’ve looked into his background too, and I don’t think he’s ever shot a real gun in his life before. Lucky for Carson, considering what would have happened if the thing had been aimed properly.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m going to snoop around. You deal with the cop stuff,” Dean said cheerfully, dragging Sam off with him as he stared at all of the stuff on set and talked about a mile a minute explaining everything to his irritated looking younger brother. Charlie spared a smile at that before resigning herself to working with Jenna again for another couple of hours before they called it quits and went back to the station. Andy Gallagher had already been asked to come in that afternoon for questioning, though Charlie highly doubted he had any idea what he was doing.

******************

“Okay, but what you don’t understand is that the entire hospital set up changed in the middle of season seven, and-“

“I can’t even begin to tell you how much I don’t care. Is this helping us solve the case?”

Dean shrugged, making his way over to the table that had food set up for cast and crew members. He started eating a quiche, and offered another one to Sam.

“Maybe not, but check out the food! Do you want some?”

“Last time I tried to make quiche you said it sounded like something made up by a French douche bag and refused to eat it on principle.”

“Well if I’d known it was going to taste like this I probably wouldn’t have done that,” Dean pointed out, rolling his eyes. As this was happening, a young blonde woman saw that Dean was eating the food, and her eyes bugged out for a second before she anxiously made her way over.

“You’re really not supposed to be eating that,” she said, pushing Dean away from the table. She looked like she was on the verge of giving them both a lecture before her eyes lighted on Sam and suddenly her entire demeanor changed. “Oh my god, Sam! I haven’t seen you in ages. Um, you understand about the food right?” she asked, eyes fluttering downwards. “It really only is for cast and crew.”

It took Sam a moment to recover from the look of sheer surprise and slight panic that crossed his face. He had to remind himself that he and Becky had dated ages ago, and she’d probably mellowed with age.

“Yeah, sorry for my brother,” Sam said, glaring pointedly at Dean. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Becky,” said the girl, holding out her hand for Dean to shake. “I’m actually Chuck’s assistant. He’s the head writer. And you guys are with the SBPD?”

“Yeah. I’m a psychic detective. You know Becky, maybe you could do us a favor? We’d love it if we could speak with your boss. You think you could swing that for us?”

“Oh, you betcha. Chuck is probably in his room. He doesn’t really like blood. Or cops. Or loud noises. He’s a little stressed right now.”

Becky then grabbed both of their arms and started dragging them through the set, taking a couple of crazy turns that Dean committed to memory with ease and yelling annoyed directions at everyone while she walked by. At last they were in front of a room with a plaque that read Head Writer Chuck Shurley on it. Becky knocked.

“Who is it?”

“It’s just me, Chuck,” Becky said with an exasperated tone. Chuck poked the door open and then slammed it.

“Who are they?”

“Oh my god, Chuck, no one is trying to kill you!” Becky yelled. “These guys are with the police.”

Chuck opened the door again, hesitantly. The room behind him was a mess of papers, empty bottles, and books strewn across every available flat surface.

“These guys are cops?”

“Actually I’m a psychic detective. Name’s Dean Winchester. This is my partner Samuel Free Willy Wonka.”

The expression that name drew from Sam’s face was one for the record books. Dean silently applauded himself. Becky opened her mouth to correct him but shut it when Dean narrowed his eyes at her, letting out a small squeak.

“Samuel Free Willy Wonka?” Chuck asked uncertainly.

“It’s Sam,” Sam said with a sigh.

“It’s a family name,” Dean explained in an undertone which got him an elbow in the side from his brother. Still worth it. “Hey is there anyway we could talk to your boss? It would really help us with our investigation.”

Dean looked around the room and noticed a calendar at the back with a date circled and a little heart put on it. He would bet money that it was Becky that had put it down, though he checked over her shoulder at her handwriting just in case. Little heart over the i’s was more than enough proof that she had put it there and from that point it wasn’t a stretch to guess that Chuck was dating his assistant and had been for a while.

“You’re a psychic?” Chuck asked.

“Yeah, and some advice,” Dean said, lowering his voice but not enough so Becky wouldn’t hear. “Chocolate and flowers are always appreciated on an anniversary, but if I were you I’d start thinking through something a little more personal. I’m sure your lucky lady will appreciate it.”

Dean glanced over at Becky, who was blushing. Although Dean had been able to tell she was a little skeptical about the psychic thing and had probably only let them through because she and Sam used to date years ago, she now looked fairly convinced.

“Wow. That’s um… wow. I’m surprised you’re not an actor though,” Chuck said, looking him up and down. “You’ve got the look.”

Sam started snickering at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chuck shrugged. Dean felt like pressing for more of an answer but he already knew he was going to get so much shit from Sam later because of Chuck’s offhand comment, so he resisted the urge.

“So, do you have any idea what happened out there today?”

“No, I can’t even believe… I just watched a guy get shot,” Chuck said, his face draining of color. He sat down hard, and Becky patted him on the shoulder before offering him a flask. Chuck took sip and Becky removed it from his grasp the next second. “I don’t even know how that happened.”

Becky sighed and then took over explaining.

“Okay, here’s the thing. We had a closed set today, so the only people it could have been that replaced the prop, much as I hate to say it, was someone on the cast or crew. Andy likely wasn’t it, since he had been rehearsing with Dave until he was handed the prop by one of the crew members, Boris Hart. Both Andy and Boris have already been asked to come in for questioning, but in all honesty, it could have been anyone on set. Everybody has access to the props, and when the cameras are running, we’re all so busy, nobody’s really watching the table. We don’t know when the prop was replaced, and our security cameras seem to have been sabotaged, so it’s looking like this was on purpose.”

Dean nodded, impressed by her reasoning skills, even if she did seem a little antsy and over eager to impress. The intensity and propensity to act a little inappropriately was a little off putting, but she was clearly smart and organized and Dean suspected she was a driving force around the show actually getting done.

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. We’re going to need to draw whoever this is out. Figure out why exactly they would want to kill Dave. And why now? He’s been on the show for ages. Do you have any new crew members?”

“Not since the season started.”

They needed a way onto the set without causing alarm. Dean was glad that nobody had really noticed them while they’d been wandering around, and only Becky and Chuck so far knew about their association with the police. A sudden thought occurred to him.

“Have you started rewriting the last episode yet?” Dean asked Chuck. The man shook his head morosely. “Anyway you could fit in a new minor character, so I’d have an excuse to be on set undercover?”

Chuck looked up and considered for a moment. He typed something up and after about two minutes of staring at it passed it over to Dean.

“How fast can you memorize and repeat that without looking?” he asked. Dean smiled. He scanned the sheet, handed it back to Chuck and recited the words back to him perfectly. Chuck and Becky’s jaws dropped.

“Is that a psychic thing?” Becky asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said quickly. “It’s a psychic thing.”

Chuck and Becky exchanged glances.

“Okay, you’re hired.”

*******************

Castiel was glad when he got back to his apartment and saw that Jo had already invited Charlie over for the night. After his appointment with Naomi, he had gone back to the station and been put on desk work for the remainder of the day, probably because Chief Mills was still angry that he’d refused to go and see Naomi for such a long time. Then again, if Chief Mills was the one who had to go and see Naomi, maybe she’d understand that the entire process felt like someone trying to very slowly pull out all of your teeth.

Charlie and Jo were vegged out in front of the television with bowls of mac and cheese, and Cas stopped by the kitchen to make himself real food. He also resigned himself to the fact if Charlie was eating comfort food, it meant she was upset. He had no problem trying to help her and was glad she expressed her emotions to him, but he also usually found himself lost when it came to the issues she had.

“Are you alright?” Cas asked, with his plate of rice, chicken, and salad balanced on his lap from the other side of the sofa.

“Jenna’s a jerk,” said Jo, in a tone that suggested Cas not argue. Castiel raised his eyebrows, partly because he knew for a fact that Officer Nickerson was a fairly decent person, and partly because he was one of the few people on the planet that Jo Harvelle didn’t scare.

“No she’s not.”

“Have some sympathy,” Jo insisted. Cas remembered this tactic from when Meg had left him. Oddly, he had found that hearing people insult the person you were missing didn’t help in the slightest. For whatever reason, other people didn’t seem to agree with this sentiment.

“She really isn’t,” Charlie said, with a sigh. “I just don’t understand why she doesn't like me. I mean, I’m a good person right? I’m fun and lovable, and good at my job. Why did she want to be with someone else?”

“I didn’t even know you liked her all that much,” Cas said with a slight frown.

“That’s not really the point here,” Charlie said with a sigh.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean her lack of interest as a slight on your personality.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Bro, this is pretty much the point you should be shutting up,” Jo said, intervening. “Charlie, if you want a distraction from Jenna being shitty to you, I could cry over my exams for a little bit.”

Charlie smiled at that, tucking her legs into her chest as she stared at the television. It appeared the two were watching reruns of Dr. Sexy M.D. Castiel decided to pay attention since he knew he would be starting the case the next day. The sounds of Charlie and his sister laughing and talking back and forth were enough to remove the tension from his body as he tried to let go of his difficult morning with Naomi.

******************

Castiel should have known his temporary absence would somehow cause even greater amounts of chaos than usual. He hadn’t expected this though.

Dean Winchester had somehow talked himself into being the newest guest star on Dr. Sexy M.D., and was currently explaining that to Chief Mills who looked surprised but impressed. Charlie was also impressed apparently since she let out a low whistle.

“How does he make friends so fast?” she whispered to her partner. Castiel shrugged.

“A combination of a lack of awareness and refusal to back down.”

“How does it feel to be sleeping with one of the stars of Santa Barbara’s hottest television shows?”

“How does it feel to know I’m aware of where you live and am currently in possession of your spare key?”

“Hey!” Jody interrupted. “Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, you two done whispering? We have a case we need to be focusing on. Okay, I still want you two on set asking questions, but leave Sam and Dean alone for now. We need them blending in. All of you are going to meet back here to compare findings. Everyone satisfied? Good.”

Everyone in the office got up to leave, but Jody called Castiel to stay behind for a moment.

“I know you hate to sit Novak,” she muttered when Cas stayed close to the door instead of getting right back into his chair. “So I’m going to make this fast. Naomi made the recommendation that I take you off of active duty for the most part.”

Castiel’s jaw dropped and he looked about ready to start rioting, but Jody put her hand up to silence him before he could speak. He stood there silent, waiting.

“And I told her that I would not be doing that at this time,” Jody continued watching Novak’s face. “I just want you to know that going against her recommendations is really putting my ass on the line. Don’t fuck it up.”

Castiel stared at her a moment before nodding solemnly. He wasn’t entirely sure why she was sticking her neck out for him, but he knew enough to show gratitude.

“Thank you, Chief.”

“Don’t thank me, just keep doing your job. You’re a good cop Novak.”

Jody didn’t miss the way Castiel looked down and away at that statement. The way a vein in his jaw jumped. He opened his mouth and then closed, looking resigned. She also hadn’t missed the fact that Naomi had suggested a strict schedule for Castiel, one that would put him in certain areas at certain times. She had long suspected something had happened in the Azazel case that Cas wasn’t talking about, and was now concerned that whatever it was was going to rob her of one of her best officers. In a rather permanent sense. If Naomi was dirty, and Jody now was strongly inclined to think she might be, that meant anyone involved in the case was still in danger. Then again, Jody was a patient woman and she didn’t have all the facts yet. She figured the best thing to do would be to keep the status quo and wait to play her hand.

“May I leave now?” Castiel asked. Jody nodded and watched him go before returning to her work.

*****************

Working on set was not entirely how Dean had thought it would be. For one thing, apparently all of the actors wore a shit ton of make up, even the unimportant ones. For another, it was very chaotic and people were constantly bustling around and yelling things at each other. Dean could see why it would be so hard to try to figure out if anyone might have tampered with the props.

Sam was having a great time though. Becky had told everyone he was an intern and was dragging him along with her. Although Dean had an idea his brother was slightly uncomfortable with Becky, the amount of technical information he was picking up was most definitely worth it if the shiny eyed nerdy look on his face was anything to go by.

So far Dean had asked questions from the make up girls- and two guys- about what was happening on set and had been able to uncover a decent amount of gossip. He wasn’t much surprised, since they seemed to be around in every corner, and were virtually ignored most of the time by the main cast, with some exceptions. Dean had been subject several times to long diatribes about how Patty Danson was just as dreamy and considerate in real life as his character.

Dean hadn’t gotten to talk to him yet, but he definitely hoped to before the case was over. He hadn’t actually gotten script yet, so he didn’t know what he’d be doing, but he hoped he’d get to interact with Patty Danson and Tara Benchley.

A voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like Sam reminded him he was supposed to be thinking about the case. Right. The case.

Charlie and Cas were snooping around set too, which had everybody on edge. Dean got an idea that they were really behind schedule and weren’t even sure if they were going to have the episode ready in time at this point. Having the police around wasn’t helping anybody’s mood, and it was hard to discern the stress of that entire situation from anyone wearing the stressed look of someone who feared being caught.

Dean was still entirely focused on trying to memorize each face and figure out some kind of routine for as many people as possible when Becky walked up to him. It took her a couple of tries to get Dean’s attention, and when she did, he noticed she was not thrilled with him not instantly paying attention to her.

“Listen, Dean, Chuck spent last night seriously rewriting the last episode and you’re going to be playing a stopgap love interest for us, got it? We’ll probably kill you off before the end to add to Dr. Allen’s emotional baggage. We’re gonna get nailed for it, but it’s better than nothing at this point. Pray to god you and Tara have at least some chemistry.”

“Won’t be a problem on this end,” said Dean. Pretend to be attracted to Tara Benchley? Yeah right. “Can I see the script?”

“Yeah, I’ve got yours here. At least we don’t have to worry about you messing up lines,” Becky said, heaving a sigh of relief. “One last thing. No ad-libbing! Alright, c’mon Sam, I’ll show you where we keep the spare props.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll love that,” Dean said with a smirk at Sam that his brother ignored. All Dean could think was it was lucky that Becky was seeing someone because otherwise he was pretty sure she would be all over Sam, long distance girlfriend or no. “You have fun, Sammy!”

That got a bit of a frown, though Dean knew that Becky had just rolled her eyes at Dean’s teasing and was a lot less crazy than she’d been when she and Sam had dated for a year back in high school. Dean hadn’t actually been there for it, though he remembered telling Sam to end it about a week into the relationship. Becky had come across as seriously unstable back then, but clearly whatever had happened in the last several years had changed her a great deal. For one thing, although she was still clearly quite interested in Sam, she had not done anything to hide her relationship with Chuck or downplay the fact it was serious and she wasn’t looking to see anyone else. Sure, she wasn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination, but Dean could tell she had a way of growing on you.

Dean was pulled from his thoughts when he turned around and Tara Benchley was right next to him. Now, in most situations, Dean Winchester was one smooth motherfucker. When faced with the actress he had been crushing on since he was sixteen, not so much.

“You’re- um, hi, I’m Dean,” Dean said, sticking his hand out awkwardly. Tara smiled at him, looking kind of amused, and Dean suspected he wasn’t the first to get a little flustered at meeting her. She shook his hand and then looked down at her script.

“Looks like we’re going to be doing some scenes together. You feel good about your part?” she asked kindly. Dean nodded dumbly, before clearing his throat and getting his head back on right.

“Um yeah. I think it should be fine. You know, you were really good in Hellblazer’s II.”

“Oh god, I’d hoped everyone had forgotten that,” Tara said with a light groan. “The dialogue sucked. Still, horror was kind of my big break. Wouldn’t have this job without it, so I’m glad for that.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen all your movies,” Dean said, wondering for a moment whether or not the qualified as creepy and deciding it hardly mattered at this point. There was no way she couldn’t tell he was a fan at this point. “How does this set compare to those ones?”

“I like it a lot, actually. We’ve got a good group going here. I know it’s all drama on the actual show, but for the most part off screen we get along great. And everybody wants to be here, which was not the case for a lot of the movies I did.”

“Huh,” Dean said with a slight frown, thoughts of the case invading again. “Seems weird then, that someone would try to get that guy shot.”

Tara sucked in a breath and nodded, sobering slightly.

“Yeah, I know. I visited Dave yesterday. He’s doing better, but I still can’t believe that happened. Patty stayed the night with him, so he might be a bit moody today, but don’t take it to heart. We’re all just a little shell shocked. And hey, we really appreciate the solid you’re doing for us, filling in last minute like this.”

“Hey, no worries, I’m a big fan of the show.”

Dean almost jumped when he felt someone put an arm around his shoulders, but then he looked sideways, and was friggin Dr. Sexy who was looking at Tara with a smile.

“Are you bugging the newbie, Benchley?” he asked playfully. “He already has to talk to you on camera. This is just excessive torture. So, what’s your name?”

Dean figured he could be forgiven not answering right away, because Dr. friggin Sexy was touching him, but luckily Tara answered for him so the pause wasn’t noticeable.

“He’s Dean.”

Patty stepped back so he was standing next to Tara and crossed his arms with a slightly stern smile that his character often wore. Dean looked down, momentarily, unable to look him in the eyes and frowned when he looked at the actor’s feet.

“Aren’t you supposed to be wearing cowboy boots, doctor?” he asked. Both Tara and Patty started laughing at that. “It’s one of the things that makes Dr. Sexy sexy as far as I remember.”

“Little trade secret,” Patty said in a fake whisper. “Those shoes pinch like you wouldn’t believe. I usually don’t wear them until the last second.”

“And until then you wear crocs?” Dean asked incredulously.

“Oh come on, you just got on set, you can’t already be judging me,” Patty complained, hiding his face behind Tara’s back for a moment. “Yes I wear crocs. And this entire place has been sworn to secrecy.”

“Which means we’re all just waiting until the perfect moment to reveal it,” said Tara. Dean felt like asking them more questions, you know, for the case, but caught sight of Sam signaling for him and had to excuse himself. As he walked away Tara and Patty continued talking to each other.

“So what do you think of the new guy?” Tara asked. She trusted Patty’s first impressions of people more than she did her own usually. Although Tara very much had her own mind, she also found she often wanted to think the best of people, and had gotten into some acting jobs that in retrospect she wouldn't have agreed to if she’d realized what dicks some of her directors were going to be. Since it was likely she was going to have to deal with whatever Dean did on camera, she wanted a second opinion on him seeming like a decent guy.

“Seems nice. A little star struck. Then again when I’m this good looking, how could he help it?” Patty said. Tara knew he was joking, but she still paused at that, making a humming sound.

“You seem pretty convinced that you’re the one he’s star struck over,” she said, voice slightly challenging. Patty picked up on it instantly.

“Tara, I’m not saying you’re not a heart throb, I’m just saying the guy got disappointed I wasn’t wearing the boots. Take a guess what that means.”

“He’s watched every movie I’ve ever been in,” Tara shot back. Patty frowned at this but shook his head, still clearly convinced that he was the one the new guy seemed to be getting all stutter-y over. Tara felt her competitive side ramping up. “What is this, are we playing a game of gay or European now?”

“Well he’s certainly not European,” Patty pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah, very witty. You know what I think this calls for?” asked Tara. “A bet. If he’s crushing on me, I win. If he’s crushing on you, you win.”

“Winner takes loser out to dinner?” asked Patty with a small, almost shy grin. Tara hesitated before deciding to play off the offer as a joke.

“That just means you win either way,” she said flippantly. Patty’s smile faded somewhat, and Tara felt a little bad for having done it. “But sure, I have no problem fucking over your credit statement.”

“You’re on,” he said, smile back full force.

*****************

“You better have called me away for a good reason, Sam.”

“Oh, was it hard picking your jaw up off the floor?”

“Shut up,” Dean said rolling his eyes and sneaking a glance back at the two stars. “Like you wouldn’t be acting the exact same way if you were around that wrestling chick whose poster you had on your wall when you were twelve.”

Sam considered that for a second.

“Fair enough. Anyways, I’ve been listening to Becky talk about the different jobs people have, and I really think that for this show it has to be one of the people involved in props. They always need someone somewhere, I know it gets crazy, but that also means if someone stopped doing their job, everyone would notice.”

“Yeah okay, that narrows it down to what… thirteen people?” Dean asked running through what he’d been seeing people do all day.

“Twelve. Good guess, though. Yeah twelve, five of which own guns legally. Ballistics confirm that the gun used by Gallagher was where the bullet came from, and the gun itself has been traced. LAPD busted the people who were selling guns of similar types, but they didn’t keep records so that doesn’t really help us much.”

“Where did you learn all of this?”

“Dean, did you seriously not read the case file before coming here?”

“Nah, you could tell Cas wrote it up. It was passive aggressive.”

“I guess I’ll just add ‘can’t even do my fucking job anymore’ to my growing list of reasons to never become fuck buddies with my arch nemesis.”

“Okay, first of all, Cas is not my arch nemesis. He’s way more of an Irene Adler than a Moriarty. And second, we are not fuck buddies. We would actually have to be buddies for that to be true. Third of all, I think maybe you should just shut up. You know, for forever.”

Dean turned around and was chagrined to see that Tara and Patty were both off shooting a scene. He sighed and resigned himself to standing with his brother for a little while longer since he’d already talked to most of the make up people and knew which props people were far enough past eccentric to go on the suspect list.

“I was just wondering, does that make me Mycroft?”

“If you want to be fat.”

“You know in the books, Mycroft is actually smarter than Sherlock.”

“Congratulations on the ability to read.”

“Yeah, I can read important files and everything,” Sam said pointedly. Dean ignored him. “So who are you thinking?”

“I can narrow it down to six from the props department. Charlie and Cas are going to have to take it from there for us to get more information.”

“How do you figure six?”

“This person went to LA to buy a gun, so they probably have to be a little bit familiar with the underworld there. That cancels out about half of them. I mean, look at some of them. Mr. Twitches-at-loud-noises and the girl who’s five foot two? Probably not hitting up that part of town.”

“You do know their names though, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll pass them along to Jody when we get back to the station.”

Dean noticed that Becky was walking toward him. Oh right. He had to do the acting thing. Well, he faked things all the time. How hard could it be?

*****************

“Cas,” Charlie said, stopping her partner from wandering off to go and try to intimidate crew members into talking through the power of accusing stares. “Wait. We have to see this.”

“No, we have to work on the case,” Cas said without looking where she was facing. Charlie took matters into her own hands by forcibly turning him around. As he did, he noticed that the cameras were focused on the set made to look like a hospital room, and Dean was standing on set wearing scrubs while one of the female characters, Tara Benchley if his memory was accurate, was likewise there. It struck Castiel suddenly that that was one of the few times he had ever seen Dean looking nervous. “Is he camera shy?”

“Who knows? I mean he was fine on the singing competition. And he likes going undercover.”

“We should still be working on the case,” Cas said a moment later, reminding himself that he did not get paid to watch Dean Winchester play out his various shenanigans. Besides, it didn’t seem like he was showing much gratitude to the Chief for her earlier actions by slacking on the job.

“Lighten up. You’re not going to get fired for watching for a couple of minutes,” Charlie said. She seemed to be under the impression that since Chief Mills had given him a pass this first time that she was planning on sticking by him. Castiel wasn’t as optimistic.

“For you, perhaps.”

“C’mon, two minutes. Then you can go back to playing bad cop.”

“I’m not playing bad cop, I’m just irritated.”

Except Charlie wasn’t paying attention anymore because some commotion was happening on camera.

“You just want us to start kissing?” Dean asked, sounding surprised. Apparently he’d expected more than a couple of lines of dialogue build up. Apparently he’d forgotten what show he was acting on.

“Well, yeah,” said Chuck, looking over to the director Marie who looked about ready to start chewing both him and Dean out. It should be noted at this point that Patty Danson was feeling pretty smug about his bet, and had given himself a high five within Tara’s line of sight. The actress narrowed her eyes and turned to Marie.

“Are the cameras rolling?”

After a nod from the director, Tara fisted a hand into Dean’s scrubs and pulled him in for the kiss. Dean reciprocated. Eagerly.

“You can stop now,” came Marie’s bored voice. “We’re on a schedule so it will have to do. Next fucking shot people!”

Dean and Tara broke apart and Dean smiled a little like all of his dreams had come true. It faded when he noticed Cas and Charlie looking over at him, and Cas very suddenly felt the urge to be elsewhere. In fact, anywhere else sounded better than where he was currently standing.

“We should interview the sound people. See if they noticed anything,” Cas said. Charlie picked up on the fact he didn’t sound exactly happy, but knew enough not to bring it up just yet. Once Cas went full investigation mode, the very last thing in the world he wanted to discuss were feelings.

Meanwhile, Tara and Patty were conferring quietly in Tara’s room as to how the odds were stacking up.

“Oh, come on. You don’t have a chance of winning this bet, and you know it,” said Tara.

“So what, you’re a good kisser. That doesn’t make him straight. It’s called acting.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m still in the running. Don’t count me out yet.”

*****************

After a long day on set, and even more time spent at the station ironing out details and letting Cas and Charlie know exactly who Dean’s “psychic vibes” had lingered on, Dean really wanted nothing more than fall into bed and go the fuck to sleep.

Unfortunately for him, all John Winchester wanted to know was why his son was in the commercial previews for Dr. Sexy M.D.

Dean heard the phone buzzing on his stand, and groaned. God, he so did not want to answer that thing right now. Then again, it could be an emergency. What if someone was hurt or in danger, and something bad happened because he didn’t answer the phone? Dean reached for the thing, and sleepily answered the call without checking the ID.

“Hello?”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Um, hi to you too dad. Is something wrong?”

“Yes, actually, something is very wrong. Look, I can understand ramping up the romance between Dr. Norwick and Dr. Allen. It’s textbook. It’s a way to get the viewers more invested, but we all know that Dr. Norwick can’t commit, and eventually, Dr. Allen will realize that Dr. Sexy truly does love her. But what is unacceptable is them throwing in some random person to act as a love interest in the eleventh hour. I mean, you’ve done some pretty disappointing things, but this is the worst.”

Dean was feeling a little less sleepy at this point.

“Well, that is a lot of information to process. You do realize I’m doing this for a case right? I’m undercover. I didn’t pick what my character would do.”

“I know that,” John said, sounding like he was still pissed. Dean resisted the urge to laugh. This was certainly a side of his father he had never really seen.

“So, since when have you been watching Dr. Sexy M.D.?”

“It’s a guilty pleasure,” John said defensively. “Katie got me hooked on it, because it was always on after-“

“Who’s Katie?”

There were about two moments of silence before John spoke again.

“I have to go. And your character is terrible.”

Dean listened as the line went dead, and pretty much immediately redialed his phone so he could speak to his mom.

“Yeah?”

“Did dad go insane since the last time I talked to him?”

“Why? What happened?”

“Apparently he watches soap operas now. Like actually watches them instead of just making fun of you for watching them.”

Dean heard Mary snort into the phone, clearly amused.

“Oh please. Your father loves those shows. It’s the romantic in him. He…” Mary trailed off, sounding slightly… nostalgic. “He never stopped believing in happy endings.”

“Mom, who’s Katie?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you that.”

“Is dad seeing someone? Why didn’t he tell us? Did he tell you? How long has that been going on?”

“Look, Dean, I’m pretty sure this right here is why he didn’t tell you.”

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” Dean said while totally not being fine.

“You’re interrogating me,” Mary pointed out over Dean’s objections. “You know, your dad and I have been divorced for a long time now. I was happy to hear he had a girlfriend. She actually works in the same division as Eileen and Mildred.”

“So what, you’re just okay with this? After everything that happened, you think it’s okay-“

“Dean,” Mary interrupted. Dean stopped talking and started taking deep breaths. “You know what happened between me and your dad wasn’t his fault right? I know it hit you hard, I do. But sometimes things don’t work out between people. That doesn’t mean you can’t ever try again.”

“Look mom, I have to go,” Dean said, doing his best not to try to think if his mom had also tried again on the love front. He didn’t want his parents together again, but the thought of them seeing other people still made him uncomfortable for some reason.

*******************

The next morning, Dean had an epiphany. It all had to do with how his usually well reasoned dad had called him upset about what his character might be doing in the show. Worried about how his character might be affecting the other characters. And Dean could identify the same feeling sometimes with shows he’d been watching since he was very young. The characters felt like real people; it felt like you knew them.

He called Sam despite the fact it was before seven. He didn’t pick up the first two times, but the third time Dean heard the call go through.

“What?” asked Sam. He definitely sounded grumpy. “I was up until two last night so I could talk to Eileen before she goes on a week of radio silence with me, so this better be fucking important.”

“The person who switched the props, they have to be a fan,” said Dean already trying to pull on clothes so he could head into the station before he had to get back for shooting more scenes. “I was thinking about it, and all the digging Charlie and Cas have done into David Carson’s background have come up squeaky clean. The worst thing the guy has is a couple of marks on his college record for underage drinking. Cast and crew seemed to like him well enough, and he was probably one of the least controversial actors on the show.”

“Well then why would a fan want to kill him?”

“But, his character on the other hand, was kind of an asshole. An attractive funny asshole, but still. In the finale episode, he was scripted to recover from the shooting in time to break things off with Dr. Allen after she’d chosen him over Dr. Sexy. And he wasn’t exactly scripted to do it gently either.”

“You think someone had Carson actually shot so that Dr. Allen’s feelings didn’t get hurt?”

“You should have heard dad on the phone last night. Some people get really into the show.”

“Yeah, some people,” Sam snorted, considering the fact that Dean had likely never missed an episode since he started watching it. “Wait, how did you get the original script?”

“Oh, I stole it from Becky.”

There was a beat as both brothers thought for a second.

“You don’t think…?” Sam asked hesitantly.

“It can’t have been her, right?” Dean said with a frown. “She’s practically everywhere at once. No way she would have time.”

“But Dean, she knows where everyone is, all the time. It would only take second to switch the prop out, and she goes everywhere on set. No one would think it would be out of place for her to be checking the props. They probably wouldn’t even remember.”

“Well, what do we do then? Do you think we could get her to confess?”

“How would we do that?”

“Well she likes you. Try to see if you can get her to talk. Record the conversation and we can turn her in, if she is the murderer. But right now, you and I need to get down to the station.”

*****************

Cas was looking over notes from his desk, ignoring Charlie sitting on top of it. Of course, she wasn’t willing to be ignored for long, and Cas sighed when the papers he was reading were snatched from his hands.

“Do you think I’m a likable person?” she asked him.

“Is there a correct answer, or do you want me to be honest?”

“Both.”

“I think you’re incredibly likable. Jenna probably does to. That doesn’t mean she has any obligation to find you romantically interesting.”

Charlie sighed.

“Nobody finds me ‘romantically interesting’. I mean, I get dates, don’t get me wrong, but for once I want to go on an actual real date again you know? Like hand holding and wondering whether you should kiss the other person and all that jazz. I had a really nice time with Jenna, you know? Do you think she didn’t want to go on another date with me because I tried to get her to sleep with me on the first date? Did she think I just wanted to get in her pants?”

“Charlie, if it wasn’t working for her, it’s better that she tell you now than string you along. Her not wanting another date is not necessarily a slight against you. Besides, just imagine what would have happened if you’d dated for real. Maybe you’d develop serious feelings for each other and then end it. And there would be no escape. What got me through my separation and divorce was being able to come to my job and do something that had never had anything to do with Meg. It’s better not to date people you work with.”

“How’s that working out for you?” Charlie said, hitting her heels on the side of his desk as she swung her legs.

“Dean and I are not dating.”

“Right. Speak of the psychic…”

“…and he shall appear,” said Dean clapping a hand on Castiel’s back. “Cassie, Charlie, how’s it going? Sam and I did some conferring with the spirits last night, and we have some new info. We think it’s a fan.”

“It was a closed set,” Cas pointed out.

“No, I mean it was one of the people on set, it’s just that they were probably big fans of the show. We have a suspect, but I also have a Plan B to draw the person out if that fails.”

“Who’s the suspect?” asked Charlie.

“Becky Rosen. It’s still hazy though, so no promises.”

Castiel muttered something about Dean’s psychic ‘powers’ being ill defined and convenient for him, but it was easy to ignore.

“And what’s Plan B?”

“I’ll let you guys know. Sam’s going to meet me on set, so don’t be surprised if he doesn’t come in. He was up late last night talking to his girlfriend.”

Dean stopped by Jody’s office before leaving to fill in her in and then made his way over to the set.

*****************

On set that day, two important events were occurring simultaneously. Sam was trying to get Becky to spill the beans on whether or not she was the murderer, and Patty was doing his best to win his bet with Tara.

Separating Becky from her job was a feat, but Sam was eventually able to do so. He managed to get her in a room alone to talk and started asking questions. She was clearly confused at first, but as Sam kept talking she slowly realized what he was implying.

“You can’t actually think I had anything to do with Dave getting hurt!” she said at last sounding angry.

“Maybe it wasn’t about Dave. Maybe it was about Dr. Norwick,” Sam suggested, trying to keep his voice calm.

“I know the fucking difference between real life and fiction, okay?” Becky insisted voice rising. “And I would never try to kill someone, fictional or not. I mean, I know that I was kind of a shitty person to you in high school, but do you honestly think I would murder someone? Really?”

Becky started to storm out, but Sam was able to keep her there by reassuring her several times that he was sorry. In all honesty, she sounded perfectly lucid to him, and he was beginning to regret having suggested she may have been the killer.

“Look, Becky, you have to understand. We’re trying to find a killer here. Whoever tried to kill Dave was probably upset about the original script. That means they’d have had to have it ahead of time, so that they could plan how they would try to kill Dave.”

Becky had started tearing up at some point between then and when she had been accused of attempted murder, but she wiped her eyes now and looked up quickly.

“One of the copies Chuck gave me got stolen a week and a half ago,” she said. “Someone else had it. I figured they would just try to leak the finale events for a quick buck. Chuck was pissed about it, but there wasn’t much we could do.”

“So someone else had early access to the original script?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think it was important.”

“No, this really vital information. Thank you. I have to go tell Dean. Um, sorry about…”

“Accusing me of trying to murder one of the actors on my show?”

“Well…”

“Look, I wasn’t going to bring this up, because in all honesty, I figured you would just assume that I was looking for pity,” Becky took a deep breath, and a look that seemed a lot like regret crossed her features. “I had a breakdown in college. A serious meltdown. I was never very good at making friends. Maybe you remember that. And the pressure when I got to school just kept building and building, and it felt like I couldn’t tell anybody about it. Like no one would care, you know? After that I started seeing a therapist, and it helped a lot. It also made me see some things clearly. I know now, that I emotionally manipulated you when we were dating. I took advantage of the fact you were nice to keep you from breaking up with me and I blamed you when you ended it. But Sam you have to know, I’m not the same person I was back then. And for what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

To say Sam was surprised about this turn of events would be an understatement. And maybe a lot of the confidence he lacked where women were concerned could be traced back to Becky, and maybe dating her during the time Dean had been away had been his mistake as much as it had been hers. Still, he had to admit the apology was nice to hear, considering how hard he’d found it to date until he’d met Eileen and Becky had been a large part of that.

“I actually really appreciate that,” Sam said sincerely.

While this was happening, Dean was doing his best to convince Chuck of Plan B. Let’s just say that conversation did not go well, and Chuck had insisted he had to leave, and Dean was left alone to try to see if he could find anything on his own. Patty and Tara were watching him from around the corner.

“So you’re really going to flirt with him?” Tara asked. Patty shrugged.

“Women do it all the time. How hard could it be? Besides, I was thinking Italian for dinner.”

Tara held in a snort before motioning her hand towards Dean with mocking encouragement.

“Give it your best shot.”

Patty made his way up to Dean who was standing around, sort of taking the entire set in. He figured he should start friendly and try to see if he could get the guy to show any kind of interest to prove Tara wrong.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Patty asked.

“Oh, you know. Good,” Dean said, clearly surprised that Patty was talking to him.

“You look a little stressed. You need a shoulder rub or something?”

Dean’s eyes pretty much bugged out for a second before he was staring at the ground and rubbing his neck.

“No, I’m fine,” he muttered. Patty slung a smug look at Tara over his shoulder before deciding to finish up the act.

“Well, let me know if you need anything,” he said. He walked leisurely back to Tara and raise an eyebrow.

“You could have just embarrassed him,” she pointed out.

“Oh come on!”

“No, I can end this. I’m going to ask him out.”

Patty didn’t seem to thrilled about this idea, and noticed the intern who seemed to be Dean’s friend walking out from a room with Becky, he also decided to put the matter to rest by asking him. It didn’t take long to learn that apparently Dean actually did have a huge crush on Tara. The intern, Sam, told him that Dean had actually followed her from movies to the show, and then gotten to like a lot of the other characters afterward. Although he was disappointed he’d lost the bet, he always knew when to admit defeat.

Of course, it wasn’t quite as simple as he thought it was.

Tara’s method of asking someone out was direct.

“Hey Dean, do you want to grab a drink with me sometime?” Tara asked, distracting Dean from where it looked as though he were going to try to talk to the intern Becky had been leading around, who was currently in a conversation with Patty. And the question certainly distracted him.

“What?”

“You seem like a nice guy. I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime. With me.”

Tara watched as Dean seriously seemed to consider it before shaking his head.

“My sixteen year old self is killing me for saying this, but… I’m going to have to pass. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but acting isn’t exactly my day job.”

“I might have noticed a little,” said Tara, drawing a laugh out of Dean.

“There’s a guy I work with. I think I might… I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

And despite the fact that Dean had made it clear that he was interested in a man he was working with, for a second Tara’s mind wasn’t on the bet. In fact, it was on where her eyes had strayed, to where Patty was still speaking with the new intern.

“Yeah, I think I might know what you mean,” she said, momentarily lost in thought. She recovered quickly when she saw Dean look over his shoulder and then wiggle his eyebrows at her.

“So. You and Patty, huh?”

“What? No, that’s not… I just meant I could sympathize okay? I mean, we work together, every day, and he has so many annoying habits that just drive me up the wall and-“

“I think you should go for it.”

“Oh really?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah. Really,” said Dean. “Listen, I have to go convince Chuck to do something stupid and ask my brother whether or not he’s doing well with his interrogation… It’s a long story.”

And with that Dean was gone.

**************************

With the confirmation from Sam that the murderer probably wasn’t Becky- Dean wasn’t eliminating anybody at this point since Cas and Charlie’s interviews with the original rounds of suspects had gotten pretty much zilch in the way of confessions of guilt or even signs of stress- it was time to institute Plan B.

So what exactly was Plan B? Plan B was convincing Chuck to take the script he’d been writing and throw it in a completely different direction. Unfortunately, there was a very serious road block to this happening, which was that the episode was set to air the following night.

“Chuck, we can’t do this,” said Marie, when the stressed out writer had gotten too worn down to just tell Dean no himself. “I don’t care if he’s a psychic or Harry fucking Houdini, we aren’t changing the episode. It’s already a mess, and we need the time to edit. Maeve’s on the war path.”

“If you change the episode I am going to kill someone. And unlike the psychopath working on set who already tried, I’ll succeed,” said Maeve, her tone serious enough that Dean made a mental note not to turn his back to her.

“We need to catch a murderer,” Dean said.

“No, we need to get an episode out that isn’t going to get the entire show canceled,” said Marie. “This isn’t even feasible. We’re barely going to make run time as it is, and if we shoot a new ending that you’re purposely trying to get disrupted, we’re not going to be ready in time.”

“Well,” Becky broke in, looking at Chuck. “There was that one idea you had.”

For the first time since Dean had met Chuck, he lit up. For a moment, Dean could kind of see why Becky seemed to be pretty happy with him despite his general sloppiness and drinking, because when he got excited, the room almost seemed to get brighter.

“You really think we could pull it off?” Chuck asked Becky. She nodded enthusiastically while Maeve and Marie exchanged worried looks.

“What are we pulling off?”

“Chuck ran this idea by me when we first figured out that Dave wasn’t going to recover in time to finish the episode. It’s the classic coma patient is dreaming plot line, but with a twist. He’s dreaming that all of the doctors he knows are actually actors playing doctors on a television show.”

Marie made a sound in the back of her throat that sounded a lot like desperation.

“Now, Chuck, you know I love you,” she said with the tone of someone trying to talk a person off a ledge. “But please, I hate the meta episodes.”

“We have to catch who did this,” Dean broke in. Marie’s face went from pleading to conflicted. “C’mon, you guys don’t want someone on set that could hurt you or your friends. Can you make it work?”

“It’s going to take very creative editing,” Maeve said with a long sigh.

“And we need an ending,” Chuck admitted. “Some way for it all to make sense. And they’re right Dean, we really don’t have time to shoot anything that’s not on for today, especially since I’m going to need to get in something that establishes what’s going on.”

“We could shoot the ending live,” Becky said. “Chuck, it’s perfect. Dean figures out who the bad guy is, we get our episode, and it’s just crazy enough to get a shit ton of publicity, even if it sucks.”

Chuck looked back at Marie and Maeve who both looked like they wanted to shut the whole thing down. After about three seconds, they glanced at each other and their expressions changed from horrified to ‘fuck it’.

“Let’s do it.”

**************************

Patty and Tara were both sulking for a while after they each though they’d lost the bet. It wasn’t until later that night when they were retelling the story for Dave’s benefit, as he sat up in bed and talked about how sexy women were going to find his scars, that the verdict came out.

“So, who won?” Dave asked through his laughter, which he insisted didn’t hurt, though both of his friends could tell he was lying.

“She did.”

“He did.”

“Come again?” asked Dave. The other two actors squinted at each other, trying to figure out exactly what was going on.

“His brother told me that he’s had a crush on you for ages,” said Patty.

“But I asked him if he wanted to go out and he turned me down and said he was interested in a guy from whatever his regular job is,” Tara answered back with a frown. Dave started laughing as she continued. “And I mean, you were right, he did get pretty flustered when you were around.”

“Uh, did you two forget that bisexuality exists?” Dave said with a snicker at the realization on both of their faces. “I guess you both win. Or lose? You’ll have to split the bill for your date.”

“Not a date,” Tara said back reflexively. “In any case, enough about set. You are doing better, aren’t you? The cops have been trying to figure out who tried to have you killed. They won’t leave set.”

“I’m fine. Well, not fine, but I’ll live. I’m glad you guys are here to get my mind off of it,” said Dave with a smile. “I heard that you’re actually shooting the last scene live. It’s all over the news.”

“Yeah. Get ready for a train wreck. When’s the last time we managed a scene without fucking up in one go?” muttered Patty. “Still, hopefully it goes the way they want it to. I just hope nothing else goes wrong, you know?”

**********************

“I don’t like this plan,” said Cas, standing next to Charlie as they waited for the countdown to the live scene. The two partners were back to back, each scanning for anyone with a weapon. The set was bustling with activity and nobody stayed still for long. The constant activity had both of the officers on edge. Jenna and Alfie were at the other side of the set similarly keeping an eye out for anything suspicious.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“Are we even certain this is going to work?”

“Hey, it’s a shot, right?” Charlie answered. She chewed her lip, debating whether or not to say anymore. “Dean’ll be okay.”

Castiel didn’t respond, just kept scanning. They both knew of course, from what Dean had explained they would have to wait for the actual scene to start before the plan went into place, and that meant they likely wouldn’t be able to make the arrest until then. That did little to put Cas’ mind at ease.

Dean was with Sam, who had already explained to him about five times that his plan was stupid and dangerous. He also was skeptical about it working, but since Sam lacked any better ideas, Dean had decided it was worth the risk.

Marie had gone through exactly what everyone had to do with Chuck quite a few times so that the scene should go off without a hitch. She’d even come up with two different plans depending on whether or not the murderer came forward. Unfortunately, she, Maeve, Chuck, Becky, and various members of the SBPD were the only ones who knew what was going on, so the other actors were going to be very confused. Dean figured it would be fine as long as they solved the case.

The first part of the scene featured a ghost of a dead character from a different season. Dean whispered an explanation to Sam in order to distract himself before he had to go on.

“They have ghosts on this show?”

“Well, this is all supposed to be in Dr. Norwick’s imagination. But don’t let that fool you, this show revives more characters than Game of Thrones.”

“How long until you’re up,” Sam asked.

“Patty and Tara have to pretend to be getting in character,” Dean said, remembering the premise. “Once they do, I break up a fight between them, and then I go off script. The official script sent out says I’m supposed to run away with Dr. Allen. But actually I’m going to be saying something awful enough to warrant my death.”

“Please don’t actually die.”

“I’ll be fine Sam,” said Dean waiting for his cue now. Once Marie signaled him, he went where he’d practiced going all day, thanking his memory for knowing the blocking. Once Dr. Sexy and Dr. Allen were done yelling at each other for some reason or another, Tara turned to Dean and waited for his line. Dean was supposed to offer her a job at a rival hospital and ask her to be with him. What he said instead was a lot less pleasant.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me. I wouldn’t want to go on a date with you if you were the last person on Earth. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re just a slut who goes from guy to guy because you can’t stand to be alone. Are you actually surprised no one wants to stick around when you-“

Tara had been staring in shock because Dean was going off script, and she had no idea what the fuck she was supposed to do now. Then again, from there it just got crazier as Dean was cut off when Weber the prop guy walked straight up to Dean and punched him in the face. Dean staggered back, lifting his hands to defend himself, but Weber wasn’t having any of it.

“You don’t talk to her that way,” he said, punching Dean again so he fell down. Patty and Tara tried to step forward to help, but Weber spun around with a knife pointed at them. Dean figured the best thing to do in this situation was stall until someone managed to take Weber down. He’d also really rather not have his plan get anyone else hurt.

“Hey, Weber? It’s Weber right? It was you wasn’t it? You’re the one who replaced the gun to kill Dave?”

“No.”

“No, to kill Dr. Norwick right? You were just trying to protect Dr. Allen. That’s why you did it, right?” Dean asked, trying to watch the knife in Weber’s hand without being too obvious about it. “That’s what this is about, you just wanted to make Dr. Allen happy?”

“Dr. Norwick deserved to die,” Weber agreed, nodding along with Dean’s reasoning. “And so do you.”

Dean flinched away from the knife, but nothing came down and he opened up his eyes to see Weber lying unconscious on the ground, Cas standing over him looking for all the world like he wished he could land a couple more blows.

“You got the confession,” Castiel said flatly, watching Alfie go forward and cuff the prop guy. Cas pulled Dean to his feet and walked him out of sight of the cameras toward Sam who looked like he was somewhere between wanting to shout at Dean and utterly relieved. The only two people who were still on camera were Tara and Patty who were staring at Marie. She glanced at Chuck and shrugged before walking in front of the camera and addressing the two actors.

“Well, now that that’s all dealt with how about you guys wrap us up.”

Then she left and the two actors looked at each other uncertainly.

“What are we supposed to be doing?” Tara asked him.

“I have no idea.”

“Okay then, what would Dr. Sexy do right about now?” Tara tried, very aware of the camera at her back.

“Try to convince Dr. Allen of his undying love. But she wouldn’t believe him.”

Maybe it was the dose of reality that had infected the scene, or Dean’s encouragement to go for it from earlier, or maybe it was just time, but Tara took a step forward and looked up at Patty, a challenge in her eyes.

“Wouldn’t she?”

“That’s what the script said.”

“Fuck the script,” Tara said, vaguely registering that she really was not supposed to curse on live television, but so distracted by how close her face was to Patty’s to notice. There was another moment’s hesitation for each of them, lips about a centimeter apart before they both surged forward, crashing together in a way that made for some really good television actually, as far as Marie was concerned. She nodded toward Maeve.

“End it.”

“We still have two more minutes of run time.”

“We’re not going to get a better ending than this. Cut the feed and start the credits. Put some of the season bloopers at the end if you can manage it.”

Maeve nodded and sent the command through her radio. Tara and Patty didn’t exactly notice.

*******************

“What the hell just happened?” asked John Winchester, staring at his TV screen. Katie shrugged next to him, her head on his shoulder.

“To be fair, that’s still not the weirdest finale they’ve ever had.”

“That’s true.”

*******************

“Hey, Cassie!” yelled Dean, right as Cas was about to leave. He debated for a moment just ignoring the man, but ended up staying put until Dean was standing next to Cas’ car.

“What do you want?”

“Well mostly I want to know what I did to piss you off this time. Charlie told me I should talk to you.”

Of course she did.

“Look, Winchester, I am very tired and I would really like to get back to my apartment. The last thing I want to do right now is talk.”

Dean seemed to accept that, though couldn’t help a passing joke.

“Sure thing, I almost get stabbed and you won’t even talk to me,” he said with a smile.

“That’s really not funny.”

“I mean it’s a little funny. Could you imagine my gravestone? Here lies Dean Winchester, stabbed to death on live television. Family too embarrassed to come to the funeral. God, I still can’t believe that guy almost got the drop on me.”

“What happened about not talking about it?” asked Cas, starting to get in his car. Dean held the door open before Cas could close it, and the officer closed his eyes for a second before resigning himself to find out what Dean wanted. “What?” he repeated, sounding more frustrated this time.

“Clearly you’re mad. Let me take you out to dinner some time, you can tell me all about it. And don’t try to tell me chewing me out isn’t one of your favorite hobbies, because I know for a fact it is,” said Dean. Cas narrowed his eyes at the teasing. Dean was already too distracting, and this sounded suspiciously like a real date. Which could not be allowed to happen.

“I don’t think so.”

“Ah, come on Cas. What about you, me, Sam, and Charlie for another karaoke night. Huh?” Dean asked with his eyebrows raised. “You can’t miss out on Sam singing drunk power ballads. It would be a crime.”

Cas snorted at that and cursed himself. What the hell was it about Dean Winchester that always got under his fucking skin?

“I’ll think about it.”

Dean grinned.

“Okay then. You do that. See ya.”

Castiel was fairly certain at this point that he just had no self preservation instincts.

******************

One thing to know about Hester: she did not like her job. It wasn’t so much secretarial work that bothered her- in fact she had a certain affinity for organizing- so much as it was working for Naomi Prellis. She cared little for Hester’s personal schedule and was constantly asking her for ‘favors’ that Hester knew refusing would mean her termination. The amount of nights Hester had had to work late on some project or another she couldn’t count. That’s not even mentioning the amount of times she had had to pick out gifts for one of Naomi’s nephews or had to keep detailed notes during a personal meeting.

Still, despite all of this, Hester had stuck it out because her job actually paid decent money and she and her boyfriend were looking to get married in the next couple of years and needed to save up. If that was going to happen, they both really needed to keep their jobs, and Hester was sure that starting some place new she would have a much lower salary, at least to begin with. Besides, Naomi might be demanding, but she wasn’t outright evil. Hester shuddered as she remembered the first person she had ever worked for, who had on her second week suggested she wear shorter skirts. That job she had quit.

But currently, Hester was determined to keep her head down and stick at the job until her head was above water financially. Then she could find something better, but for now she hadn’t planned on making any waves. This being the case, she most certainly didn’t mean to overhear Naomi’s conversation with a convicted felon.

Hester had finished her work for the day and was begrudgingly going to Naomi’s office to ask if she could leave when she heard words behind the closed door that stopped her in her tracks.

“Yes, well it’s hard to set up an assassination when Chief Mills won’t work with me to put him on a schedule. I don’t know where he’s going to be!” Naomi hissed, probably into a phone, since the statement was followed by silence. “Yes Crowley, I realize that. You think I would be doing this if you didn’t have that hanging over my head?”

Hester stayed quiet, not knowing whether she should leave or confront her boss.

“I’ll get it done. He’ll need to come in for another appointment with me. I’ll do it then,” Naomi said, sounding frustrated. Her voice got cold right after that, the kind of cold it got when of the officers she did psych evals for in anyway threatened her. “That won’t be necessary.”

Hester heard the phone slam down and dived back for her desk, pulling up work she had planned to do the next day so she would look busy. Naomi emerged a moment later and placed a stack of papers on her desk.

“Have those typed up for me by tomorrow,” she said, sounding much too normal to just have had the conversation she had. Hester stared at her for a moment before nodding her head.

“Yes, Naomi,” she said, pulling the papers towards her and hoping that her boss didn’t suspect that she’d overheard.

“Excellent. Good night, Hester.”

Once Naomi had left, Hester stared at the screen for a long time. She had no clue what she was supposed to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it and I always appreciate any and all feedback!


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